“I’m sorry babe,” returned her dad, Matt Riddle. “I hope it doesn’t.”
His daughter called a few minutes later. It’s not nothing.
“There’s an active shooter,” he whispered, hiding under his desk, the lights on and the windows covered. “I can’t believe it’s happening again.”
On a winter afternoon more than a year ago, Emma was 80 miles east, in the Oxford High School band room, when someone rushed in, panicking. Something bad happened. Then an emergency alert blasted through the intercom. They have been drilling what to do next for years.
Emma, who plays the clarinet, waits in terror behind the barred doors until the students decide to try to escape. A door at the back of the room leads to a field where the marching band practices. They looked at the sunlight, then fled.
Dozens of police cars raced by, and helicopters circled overhead. Running through a neighborhood, Emma called her father.
“Dad, there’s an active shooter,” she said, crying and out of breath. “I’m scared.”
Emma, who is a senior, does not know that in the building behind her, in the town where she has spent her whole life, a 15-year-old sophomore opened fire, injuring 11 people. Four of them – all teenagers – died, including Justin Shilling, who was a friend.
The following weeks were a haze of funerals and memorials and community gatherings. It’s hard to say no to anything, but all the trauma and grief has worn him down, like most of his classmates.
The sounds of police sirens and helicopters overcame Emma, who turned her back on a frantic sprint through the neighborhood.
He refused to let any of this ruin his senior year, though. Emma attended therapy sessions at school and learned to manage her flashbacks. A good student, he decided on Michigan State because of its history program. He likes that it’s close to home too.
As a freshman, Emma thrived. He has good grades and many friends. He joined a history club and a book club and a Taylor Swift club, where members discussed lyrics and favorite songs (he was torn between “Willow” and “August”).
Emma, one of about 20 Oxford university survivors, decided to minor in women’s studies, hoping to one day earn a doctorate, possibly become a professor and teach students like him.
And Monday night came.
“I’m so scared,” he texted his family.
“I know,” his dad replied, typing too fast to correct the typo. “I love you. He doesn’t go to the dorms. They lock the buildings.”
“Why haven’t they caught him yet,” he continued. “He’s very close, dad.”
She and her roommate hid in the dark for hours, and at 12:31 am, in a moment of anger and frustration, Emma made a tweet: “14 months ago I had to evacuate from Oxford High School when a fifteen-year-old opened fire. and killed four of my classmates and injured seven others. Tonight, I’m sitting under my desk at Michigan State University, once again texting everyone ‘I love you.’ When will it end?”
14 months ago I had to evacuate from Oxford High Schol when a fifteen year old shot and killed four of my classmates and injured seven others.
Tonight, I’m sitting under my desk at Michigan State Univeristy, once again texting everyone “I love you”
When will it end?
– Emma Riddle (@egraceridd) February 14, 2023
Around 1:30 a.m., they learned that the school had allowed students to leave the campus. The gunman, who killed three students and injured five others, killed himself.
Her dad sped to East Lansing, stopped outside his daughter’s building at 2:30 a.m. Emma hugged him, then he and his roommate got into the car.
Matt Riddle took the week off to support his daughter at home. Memories of Oxford came rushing back, but his dad also realized that, in his mind, he felt he was ready for the future.
He’s only nine months old, but he’s already a veteran of school shootings. He wasn’t going to overextend himself this time. He knows when to say no. He knows when to talk about it and when not to.
“It’s sad,” his dad said, “that he has those tools.”
He’ll need them, especially when he comes back, he says. Many of his classes were in Berkey Hall, where the gunfire began. Emma knew she would be there on Monday night too.
“For me, as a parent, you’re focused on being supportive and loving and just making sure he has a way to deal with everything he has to deal with,” Riddle said. “Every now and then, you get a little angry, you get a little angry, and you say, ‘Why are we doing this again?'”
“Nothing,” he said, “has changed.”
Emma praised Michigan State and its sprawling campus of 50,000 students. Just like when he was at Oxford, he’s determined not to let an act of gun violence derail him from the future he’s worked so hard to achieve. But by Tuesday night, he and his family were beginning to think about the reality of their drive back to campus on Sunday.
They will make the 80 mile journey to the west. They will stop by his dorm. They hug and force themselves to say goodbye. And they hope it never happens again.
Razzan Nakhlawi contributed to this report.
